Success in recovery from drug addiction?

What does this mean and how do I know when I am successful?

Some people would say that success in recovery is “not using” drugs but I believe that is putting the cart before the horse. Addiction is a mental illness; a “thinking” problem, not a “drug” problem. For a real addict, just “not using” is literally mental torture. Depending on how far the disease has progressed, some people in the early stages may be able to make it “not using” for weeks, months or maybe even years. But by the time the disease gets bad enough that someone really wants to stop, it is often only a few days to a week that they can handle the suffering of being clean without having a real solution to their problem. Addicts WILL use again without a real solution! The real solution I am referring to is a change in thinking brought about by the actions taken in the 12 steps. ( Disclaimer: The 12 step program of recovery is what I am personally familiar with. If working a different program for recovery, please follow the guidelines of that particular program for results.)
The first sign that the program is working is gaining hope, followed by the loss of the desire to use drugs. Often, the recovering person is the last to notice their own progress. We have a habit of focusing on problems and easily overlook the tremendous positive changes taking place in our lives. So, it is very helpful to have some sort of measurement for our progress so far. But how do we measure recovery success for a real addict?

All throughout the Alcoholics Anonymous Big Book, there are what is referred to as “promises”. These promises outline what the experience will be of someone who does the work suggested for each step. The most recognized of these are found after step nine (amends) on pages 83-84 in the book and they describe what a “recovered” life looks like. I have found this to be one of the most helpful  lists of characteristics of success for addiction recovery!

Ninth Step “Promises” 

“If we are painstaking about this phase of our development, we will be amazed before we are halfway through.” Meaning: If we are willing to stay the course, swallow our pride and set right our wrongs, we will be amazed at how free and happy we feel before we are even halfway through our amends list!

“We are going to know a new freedom and a new happiness.” Meaning: This is the real deal; true happiness and freedom from shame for the first time in our lives!

“We will not regret the past nor wish to shut the door on it.” Meaning: We will see value in all of our past experiences and what has led us to seek a new and better way of life. We are grateful for what our past has taught us. We do not regret our mistakes or feel the need to hide from them anymore.

“We will comprehend the word serenity and we will know peace.” Meaning: For the first time in our lives, we will look forward to starting our days! The mental chatter has disappeared. We can think clearly and we have a genuine positive outlook for the future.

“No matter how far down the scale we have gone, we will see how our experience can benefit others.” Meaning: Shame about our past has left us and we now see how valuable our story is in helping others. Hearing our struggles allows new people to trust us and begin opening up to us. We have a huge amount of compassion for the suffering of others because of what we have been through.

“That feeling of uselessness and self-pity will disappear.” Meaning: Throughout the steps, we learn to not be so focused on ourselves. We learn how to reach out and help others. Through helping others, we gain a sense of purpose and think less about our problems. Self-pity disappears when we see that it was really our own faulty attitudes and beliefs that set us up to be hurt by others. We see that we hurt ourselves and expected perfection from imperfect people.

“We will lose interest in selfish things and gain interest in our fellows.” Meaning: We experience how rewarding it is to help others and how miserable it is to do things only for our own “benefit”. Our values change and we see how human relationships were truly designed to work.

“Self-seeking will slip away.” Meaning: We recognize that self-seeking is not fun and makes us miserable. We are now naturally drawn to thinking about how we can help someone else.

“Our whole attitude and outlook upon life will change.” Meaning: We forgive those from our past who could not love us the way we wanted them to because they were sick. We see that people do wrong to others out of fear. We see that we are creators of our own misery or happiness. We find that giving really is better than expecting to “get”. We see the positive in the world and realize that negativity is made up in our minds!

“Fear of people and of economic insecurity will leave us.” Meaning: We finally see that other people have no more power over us than what we give to them. We have confidence that our needs will always be met and no longer fear numbers on a piece of paper. We begin to believe that our Higher Power wants us to enjoy our lives and not live in a state of lack.

“We will intuitively know how to handle situations which used to baffle us.” Meaning: Through working these steps, we clear the channel of communication with the unseen world. Our intuition awakens and we are able to “know” what to do or say in any circumstance. We trust our intuition because we have cleaned up our past and we know we will be okay no matter what happens in our lives.

“We will suddenly realize that God is doing for us what we could not do for ourselves.” Meaning: This is absolutely amazing stuff! My mind has been changed for me after years of battling it by myself! I finally live in peace with a quiet mind and no more shame or regret!! Wonderful coincidences are happening all around me that can not be explained apart from a Higher Power working in my life!! 

“Are these extravagant promises? We think not. They are being fulfilled among us – sometimes quickly, sometimes slowly. They will always materialize if we work for them.” ( Alcoholics Anonymous pages 83-84 )

Let’s ask ourselves a few questions:

Do I recognize these changes in my life? Where do I have yet to see change? Can I see the link between making my amends and these promises coming true in my life? If I am holding back on my step work, why? Can I discuss this honestly with a sponsor or a friend? 

Clearly, these promises are a measure of great and miraculous success in recovery. They were written by people who had done the work suggested in the 12 steps and reaped huge rewards as a result. And the best thing about them is that the writers of the Big Book promise that these things will happen for us, too… If we work for them!